I like a movie to be honest about what it is. Too often, something pretends to be a romance but it’s really about how women are stupid and worthless. Or it’s a comedy, but really it’s about how women are stupid and worthless.
So it’s always nice when you watch a movie that says it’s about Christopher Lee sexily whipping ladies, and it’s actually a movie about Christopher Lee sexily whipping ladies.
Well, strictly speaking it’s a movie about a lady who is driven mad by (the desire for) Christopher Lee’s sexy whipping- a universally relatable theme.
Our man plays prodigal noble Victorian son Kurt, who was exiled from the family home when he drove a servant girl to suicide. He comes back to find himself disinherited and his fiancée (Daliah Lavi who is very excellent in this) married to his bland teddy boy brother Christian (Tony Kendall). Kurt ambushes her at the beach and some ambiguously consensual sex happens, then he leaves her in shock, and while the rest of the family look for her, Kurt is killed.
Or is he?
He seems to have come back to have some more sex and randomly kill people! It’s up to the ted brother to solve it.
So this isn’t Dracula, but it’s also Dracula, because it’s yet another movie about men trying to stop self-destructive women from sneaking off to shag Christopher Lee who is maybe dead. It’s a winning formula for a reason!
Who cares, there are two reasons to watch this movie, and they are:
- You are extremely horny for Christopher Lee and/or Daliah Lavi
- The beautiful cinematography
It’s Mario Bava, so you know it looks absolutely gorgeous: some really wonderful shots used just right, beautiful atmospheric photography and lighting in purples, greens, and blues, with oranges, reds, and yellows to accentuate key elements.
The moral of the story is: don’t make women marry bland teddy boys when they’d rather be in a BDSM relationship with Christopher Lee, and if that’s not a beautiful message, I don’t know what is.