Aankhen (India, 1993)

When a Govinda movie is very popular with the general public, you know you have to brace yourself, so I put off watching Aankhen for the longest time. But I knew I was in for it eventually.

Govinda fans are kind of lukewarm about this movie, and they are always right. I hated the first half, the second half was okay. On the Govinda scale, it’s a “Govinda is the only bearable thing in the movie” even though honestly he doesn’t deserve it. He only acts a little in the second half, the rest of the time he is definitely not trying.

Govinda 1 and Chunky Pandey are deeply annoying brothers known for their pranks and hijinks (crimes, lies, and violence). They harass a couple of girls into liking them because that’s how that worked in the 90s. They get mixed up in a plot by a gangster and a corrupt minister to Man In The Iron Mask the PM of India. Because of their prank history, no-one believes them when they try to warn people of this so they have to sort it out themselves.

To complicate things further, Govinda 2 is a simple village dude who gets mistaken for Govinda 1 by his own family and by the gangsters which leads to more complications. There is also a monkey because 90s.

The reason this movie sucks so much is that the whole first half is dedicated to the hilarious (not) pranks, and the romance (harassment), which really should have taken half an hour, tops. Then they cram the whole plot, which would have been a fine movie ON ITS OWN into the second half. Why??? WHY IS IT PACED THIS WAY? EXPLAIN YOUR CHOICES TO ME PERSONALLY, DAVID DHAWAN. YOU HAVE TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.

In short, the second half is kind of boring but watchable. It has all the good songs, too. The first half makes me want to die. The heroines are mostly flower pots. Govinda does almost nothing to help me and looks like he hates his life.

Definitely do not watch this, except maybe the songs and the second half. Unless you love the kind of Govinda movies everyone loves that I hate, in which case, get out of here.

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