Hadh Kar Di Aapne (India, 2000)

I was really looking forward to this movie, partly because of the songs which are all great and partly because Rani/Govinda are one of my favourite jodis. But this was nothing but a let-down.

Here’s the scale I use to determine the quality of a Govinda movie:

  • Govinda is one of the best things in the movie
  • Govinda is the best thing in the movie
  • Govinda is the only good thing in the movie
  • Govinda is the only bearable thing in the movie
  • Not even Govinda is bearable in the movie

Not many make it all the way to the bottom category, but this is one of them.

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This has a plot which is actually fine but let me tell you all the things that aren’t in the plot summary that make this so awful:

  • sexual harassment romance, i.e. actually physically assault a woman until she loves you! Unlike in Hero no. 1, or Dulaara, where this bit ends before I give up on the movie, here it goes ON AND ON FOREVER and it’s also ESPECIALLY grating
  • Rani tricks Govinda into sexually assaulting a black woman (a woman in blackface) which is played for laughs. Later on, some violent black man stereotypes (more blackface) kidnap and try to rape Rani and Govinda beats the snot out of them
  • Govinda’s character also hits Rani’s character (so hard that she falls down) when she dances in a club with some white guys because this movie doesn’t want to miss any tricks when it comes to annoying me. He does apologise immediately which migitates NOTHING.  In the preceding scene, Govinda’s character dances with white strippers and nobody hits him.
  • This is one of those movies where Govinda dresses like Gavin for much of the time
  • Govinda’s (and other people’s) constant bits of unnecessary, faddish English dialogue (was this some attempt at satire I didn’t get? Christ)

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Not everything was bad though:

  • Songs and dances are great without exception
  • Rani’s clothes are great
  • Actually Rani was the only decent thing about this even if her character is terrible
  • When Govinda doesn’t dress like Gavin, he’s got an addiction to see-through tops I appreciate
  • Govinda mispronouncing “divorce” (DAI-vorce) is the most erotic thing I’ve heard all year

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