Dr. Goldfoot and the bikini machine (USA, 1965)

Dr Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine is a spoof film about a mad scientist who uses a robot making machine to produce a fembot army which marries wealthy men and then makes them hand over their money to Dr. Goldfoot  (Vincent Price).

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Govinda 5 for 1: Achanak, Gharana, Sadaa Sahugan, Billoo Badshah, Mohabbat ki Aag (India)

Here’s a slew of Govinda movies that weren’t interesting enough for their own posts:

Achanak (1998)
Gharana (1989)
 Sadaa Suhagan (1986)
Billoo Badshah (1989)
Mohabbat ki Aag (unknown?)

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Lights of Old Broadway (USA, 1925)

Il Cinema Ritrovato had a focus on early colour film this year. Early colour film is one of my favourite things so I tried to watch as many as possible. Lights Of Old Broadway was part of this programme.

lights of old broadway

It starts with a set-up I know well from Bollywood movies: two twin girls, found orphaned on a ship sailing towards the US, are separated and given to two very different foster families. One (goody goody brunette Anne) goes with the rich New Yorkers the de Rhonde’s and one (messy blonde Fely) goes with the poor Irish immigrants the O’Tandy’s.

Turns out Anne’s family own the slum Fely’s messy and violent Irish family live in and want to turn them out. BUT at the same time Anne’s brother falls in love with Fely. Will everything work out?


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Operazione Paura (Italy, 1966)

Operazione Paura is about a small village in Europe somewhere (Germany?) in Edwardian times, which suffers from a series of unexplained murders. Our great white hero, Paul, who is serving Johnny Halliday teddyboy realness throughout the film, is called there to perform an autopsy at the behest of the chief of police.

The villagers claim the murders are committed by the vengeful spirit of a little girl, and resist Paul’s and the police’s efforts to solve them with SCIENCE and REASON. Instead, they  call in the help of a local witch who uses weird S&M-y rituals to protect them. Paul and his local helper Monica, a returned villager who had left to study medicine in the city, are disgusted by this attitude and doggedly continue to drag the village into the 20th century and debunk their belief in witchcraft and the supernatural.

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5 Weddings (India, 2018)

I’d been looking forward to this movie since the trailers came out ages ago. This was partly because it stars Rajkummar Rao and Bo Derek, a combination of actors straight out of my erotic fever dreams, and partly because the trailer made so little sense I didn’t understand the basic premise even after watching it several times.

So I went to see this on its first night, and because my local theatre also ended up being the only one in the country to show it, there we were at the NATIONAL PREMIERE of this thing.

What I was expecting was something pretty but superficial and badly made about a Westernised NRI learning to appreciate India and her roots through weddings.

What I got was basically the opposite, aside from it still being pretty badly made.

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Hadh Kar Di Aapne (India, 2000)

I was really looking forward to this movie, partly because of the songs which are all great and partly because Rani/Govinda are one of my favourite jodis. But this was nothing but a let-down.

Here’s the scale I use to determine the quality of a Govinda movie:

  • Govinda is one of the best things in the movie
  • Govinda is the best thing in the movie
  • Govinda is the only good thing in the movie
  • Govinda is the only bearable thing in the movie
  • Not even Govinda is bearable in the movie

Not many make it all the way to the bottom category, but this is one of them.

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Red-haired Alibi (USA, 1932)

After Viktor und Viktoria, I was in the mood for some pre-code, so I chose this movie based on the line “You don’t drink, you don’t smoke, what do you do?”, which I’m guessing was the inspiration for Adam Ant in Goody Two Shoes.

In Red-haired Alibi, Lynn goes to New York at the behest of a mysterious man who promises her a place to stay and a job. It’s clear in the movie that Lynn’s relaxed standards in this instance are the result of the economic depression, and she still clings to her own ideas of decency in behaviour (see the above line).

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Il Cinema Ritrovato: Shiraz (India, 1928)

This year I went to Il Cinema Ritrovato for the first time, along with silentsplease and some other friends. I had a really fantastic time; with my friends ❤ of course but I also loved the festival. The selections were so great I had trouble choosing and the way it’s set up makes it really easy to run into people as well as meet.

For more reviews (some of things I also watched) go visit silentsplease. I’ll post about some of the films I watched which I found significant, the first of which is the BFI restoration of Shiraz. Indian silent film, two of my greatest interest combined into something greater. The restoration was excellent, beautiful quality and a wonderful score by Anoushka Shankar.

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Kunwara (India, 2000)

A note: when talking about Hindi films, I usually use the names of the actors because I can hardly ever remember character names.

In Kunwara, Govinda meets Urmila on holiday in New Zealand. He has to go back to India before her, and on his way he meets a woman about to commit suicide because she’s pregnant by a man who disappeared on her.

Govinda promises to pretend to be her husband for a short while, so she can pass off the pregnancy as his, after which he will leave her, allowing him to take the blame for the situation. This goes well until the woman’s sister shows up and it’s Urmila.

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